drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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