Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
