Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
