it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
