Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
