He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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