just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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