I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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