Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
