I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
