Rock
Scissors
Fuck
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
