Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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