I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
