all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
