just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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