1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
