i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I would ride that face into the sunset
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize