And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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