I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize