Fuck appropriateness.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the day after is always just damage control
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
