Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The power of my boobs compel you
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
