you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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