what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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