shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I FOUND THE LEGS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
