So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
