pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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