Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I FOUND THE LEGS
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
