she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
