Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
