Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
