if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
