he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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