I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
