u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
