Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
