I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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