marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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