is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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