i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
