That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
