? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
