Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
