Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You dont lie about slip and slides
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
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