There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
