Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
