Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
