i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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