Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
