I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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