Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
