He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
