Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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