Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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