He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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