IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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