Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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