someone owes me an orgasm
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize