Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
His nipple licking is glorious
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