and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
