I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize