I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
