I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
