I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
