Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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